Roadside Chats (11) 24/4/15
Thee solicitor’s call leaves me frustrated. I turn the energy of frustration into action. I ring Elle. I tell her I will leave Rarangi and drive to the cottage. On the way I will visit the solicitor & try to contact the land agent.
The solicitor is pessimistic. She shows me the Lim report. The aerial photo shows three quarters of the cottage on roadside reserve. She’s never seen a building so far beyond its surveyed boundaries.
On the way to the cottage I pass through Havelock. Entering the Havelock IGA who should I meet but Pat, the land agent. The synchronicities continue. Neither of us believes the cottage is built outside its surveyed boundaries. We need to prove the aerial photograph wrong. It will be a challenge.
I’m aware of a shift in my feelings. Frustration gives way to questioning. Doubt knocks at my door. I’ve felt so certain a flow of spirit is leading me to the cottage. Have I got it wrong? I meditate on a saying given during my stay at Rarangi: ‘There’s a future emotional hole you’ve got to stand up in.’
There’s a future emotional hole you’ve got to stand up in
Situate yourself in the seat of purpose
I ask the vendors for a surveyors report. The report will prove one way or another if the cottage is built within its legal boundaries. My gut feeling is the photograph is wrong. Common sense tells me a newly built cottage is likely to be correctly situated. I drive to Christchurch to be with Elle. It’s a waiting game.
Two weeks later I receive the survey results. The cottage is within its correct boundaries! I feel relief! Joy! From the edge of sleep the Self speaks; ‘The flowers of common sense.’ The Self’s saying speaks of the importance of remaining grounded in common sense while I seek to follow the flow of Spirit.
In singular ground
A second ‘emotional hole’ opens. It’s the hole of fear. My family has found out about Elle. How will they react? Will it affect my relationship with my grandchildren? It’s four years since my separation yet the presence of a new woman in my life sends a shock wave through the family system. I fear rejection.
Standing in the emotional hole of fear leads me to the gates of choice. I love Elle deeply. Her presence enriches my life. I feel her deep & tender love. I sense the energy of Spirit flowing between us. I make my choice. I speak to my family about Elle. I send emails to my brother and sisters. I shift into Elle’s home while I wait to take possession of the cottage. I’m uncertain how my close family will react. Hopefully in time they will understand. The Self whispers; ‘Going through barriers opens the way of promise.’
A thousand no’s obstruct the path of promise
Your eyes narrow as you unsheathe the sword of purpose
Will stop you now
Elle is never far from my mind. Our journey is of love and spirit. In my email to my family I say; “we are beginning to use words like ‘partners’ and ‘relationship.’” I am uneasy with these words. They are of the collective and cannot shed light on the true nature of our unfolding connection. I reflect on a saying given by the Self during the early days of our connection: ‘An alliance has been formed.’
The forming of ‘an alliance’ speaks of intention. It speaks of unfolding purpose. Elle and I are drawn together for a reason. I wonder how this purpose will unfurl. We are both healing following the trauma of the Christchurch earthquakes. We both want to make a new start in the Nelson/Marlborough area. We are both drawn to the Wakamarina River. We are both healers with a commitment to Spirit. What gifts will we bring each other? How will our union enhance our work in the world? I am aware there are times I experience Elle as a muse. This occurs as Elle is able to connect with her true self and her natural spontaneity. When this happens ‘something’ constellates in my soul and I ‘see’ and ‘feel’ in ways I cannot without her.
An alliance forms
Skin to skin
Roadside Blessings – Kevin