Psalm 62

In the fierce silence after the electrocardiogram
Lion speaks first

I don’t want your advice
I don’t want your expertise
I don’t want your experience
I don’t want your help

I want you

I want the simple uncluttered
Response of the human heart

I want it as it comes
Shocked
Sad
Funny
Practical
Over the moon

As long as it’s you

I don’t care how big it is
How wise
How significant

I want to sit with it
Cold and brown
On a long summer’s day

To swill it
Appreciate
Marvel
Smile

I want us to relax together
I want time to end

I want lion days

I want you

Kevin Moran 21/1/10

Whakapapa: I wrote this psalm two days after an ECG. The doctor doing the ECG said there was ‘definitely something wrong with your heart.’ Seven days later, after an ambulance trip & four days in hospital, an angiogram proved him wrong. The poem reflects on my experience over the 24 hours following his bad news. I was calm & focused but felt very vulnerable. I found myself reaching for human companionship. I longed for the simple, uncluttered response of the human heart. The first authentic response that comes before people go up in their heads, offer advice, opinions, personal experience, get ‘spiritual’ etc. I love that. When I received it, it delighted, fed and sustained me. ‘Lion’ is the part that enjoys such authenticity & straightness. Lion dislikes falsity & evasion. I found Lion growling… in his usual rumbling, irritated, manner… whenever something inauthentic & heady or advice-giving was offered.

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